By: Manasi Agrawal

Grief, is a weird thing, you don’t know when it might hit you
When it might hurt you and when it lives within you
It becomes a part of your being
It becomes a part of your soul
And you do daily tasks
You even laugh and smile
But that grief is there
Watching you, feeling you and
After a while being you

The day, I lost him
This is the hardest day of my life, I thought
But boy was I wrong?
The path of pain and void had just begun
The journey was is so long

There are days I miss him
There are days I wish to see him
There are days I wish he was here
There are days I wish, he didn’t just left

I cry, I sob
And minutes later
I wipe my own tears and
Act like I am okay
Even though I am not,
Even though I never will be

There are days, I scream
I scream at death and
Have a lot of questions in my mind
And death just stares back at me
With a quiet face and silent eyes
I don’t know what to do with it
But I do wish for an answer
As to why did he leave?
And if he really had to go
Why did’nt he take me with him
Why I was left alone
Broken, anxious and shattered
Someone with a scar
A scar that might never heal
A pain that I can let go
Even do days pass
And years too
You are someone
With whom I will never move on
I miss you on my happiest days
And on my saddest
I miss you when I forget to smile
And when I need an advice
I miss you when the sun shines
And the moon is bright
I miss you when the starts are twinkling
And I am just living
I miss you
A little more everyday
Papa, will I ever be okay?
Even though I know I will never get an a swer from you
I will not stop asking the questions
Because I know, from somewhere you are watching me
Still protecting me
But I still wish there was not this distance
And you could see how your bitiya have grown up
You could smile and pat on my back
I could make you proud and when I fail
I wish I could hug you and hide
I miss you, I miss you being here and
That will never end
I wish you were here
To hold our hand till the end

About the Poet: Hailing from Mau, India, Manasi uses writing as a sanctuary to express her most vulnerable thoughts and truths. Deeply passionate about the power of language, she aspires to be an educator who shapes young minds into the innovative leaders of tomorrow, wielding words with purpose and wisdom.

This poem was featured on Poetic Expressions 4.0 — our flagship poetry recital event.